Someone has kindly blogged about Katya, in a blog post entitled, “Why Katya?” You can read it here: http://2agentsblog.com/2011/04/why-katya/ and you can share it too, on Xanga and Facebook and where ever else you like.
Speaking of the blog post reminded me that when I was in Kayta’s orphanage, the Docs with me kept asking me, “Why Katya? Why not one of the other kids?” I couldn’t tell them for sure . . . I just knew that it WAS Katya.
This is the first photo of her that I saw–the photo that was used to list her on RR a long time ago:
As I stared at the photo that was several years old, I wondered what she was like NOW. I began to research and research some more. And then I contacted RR to ask for an updated photo. Because of my interest, they asked the facilitator in-country to get an updated photo. The now-famous (haha!) photo of Katya in a red dress was what I saw next.
As I studied the two photos, it became more and more apparent to me that what I was seeing did not fit with my research about Crouzon’s Syndrome. I began to reach out to the medical community to seek some opinions. Everyone agreed with me–the photos did not do any thing to indicate the typical progression of un-treated Crouzon’s Syndrome.
During all this process . . . more and more clearly I began to see that Katya was meant for our family. We had the knowledge to seek help for her problems–whichever was most indicated–surgery OR the gentler, slower approach of cranial-sacral work by qualified Osteopathic Physicians. Or . . . maybe even a combination of both. Paul and I had a number of long conversations about Katya . . . and after some months it became clear that while I felt led to her, he did not. At that point, he was willing to try to do it just because I felt so strongly about it, but I am a big believer that both parents need to be 100% on board before a child is added to the family, so I said, “No Way!” I backed away from the idea of adopting Katya, and began to advocate for her with all my might. Part of that included donating money that was left from our failed adoption attempt to Katya’s grant fund (which at that point had precisely $5.00 sitting it, as I recall!)
Eventually, Paul encouraged me to go on a LLAF trip to Katya’s orphanage, thinking that it would be a good way to help Katya. He was extremely supportive of me . . . even taking a week off of work to be Mr. Mom which is NOT a role he really feels at home in. I will be forever grateful he did that–and looking back now, we both see how clearly that the trip to Katya’s orphanage WAS God’s PLAN for so many reasons. I saw Katya and got to love on her in Sept of 2009 as you can read about here: http://happymom4.xanga.com/713145096/katya/
Why and how did we go from not adopting Katya to adopting her?? Well . . . that is a long story . . but in a nut-shell can probably be summed up in one word–GOD. God gave Paul peace that it was OK now. . . and while I regret the years that Katya has had to go without a family . . . I can also see how God was preparing our family to be more ready to add her to our family.
Frankly, Katya has needs that will require a lot of time and energy and attention. Our children are all older now than they were, and more independent than they would have been several years ago when I first began to know Katya was to be a part of our family. Those things will ALL be important as we chase around getting Katya the treatments and therapies she needs for the next years. We also have learned to know some friends over the last few years here in town which will be a support system that is local. That will be important too. It’s a small but still THERE group . . . and one experienced foster care AND adoptive Mom has agreed to even be a respite baby sitter for a few hours if need be now and then. (And I’m pretty sure she’ll get taken up on that too!)
So . . . why Katya?? Who knows all the reasons why?? Why does God lead us to a specific person for husband or wife?? Why does God lead us to a specific child?? Because I believe He has planned all of this out before we were even born and knows exactly WHO belongs where . . . and He knows evidently that Katya belongs with us for our mutual good.. Because while I’m quick to agree with the people who say that adoption isn’t about you–it’s about the child–I’ll be quick to point out to you that God also knows what is good for US personally as humans and I think He uses children to accomplish a lot in the lives of their parents. And I guarantee you . . . that cute little giggle Katya has?? It’s going to be bringing some happiness to this house. So . . . I think mutual benefit is a safe way to sum it up here . . . and any thing worth having in life?? Worth the hard work and effort (and money) that it takes to accomplish it.
Why Katya?? It’s simple. I’m her Mommy . . . and she’s my daughter. Paul’s her Daddy, and she’s his daughter. Why Katya?? She’s meant to be in our home . . . that’s why.